Greetings. It is I, Finneas T. Rex, but I have no doubt you’ve heard of me before. I am a citizen of the Best Forgotten Island, a gentlemen, and a top notch detective. While the other citizens of the island, especially our leader Congo Jimmy, would prefer to spend their time engaging in brutish and backwards violence, I have dedicated my life to serving the greater good. With my sharp eye for details, and my innate and astute abilities of deduction I was a natural candidate for a detective. Why, in my youth, I discovered it was my brother, Alexander, who ran my mother’s bloomers up a flag pole and set me up as the perpetrator. If I had not found his claw marks on my mother’s drawer, then I would surely have been punished for a crime I did not commit. Ever since then, I knew I was destined for great things.
Not just anybody can be a detective. It requires years of study and practice. I, for one, have been taking Dr. Sirrlock’s Four Week Private Detective Online Course. Such a bold endeavor is not for the faint of heart. One must learn all matters of practical detection – such as when to look for a murder suspect’s evil twin, when to realize you have been double crossed by an attractive vixen, and the 680 different types of mud and dirt that may be tracked on a person’s shoes.
If you are ever in need of expert detective assistance, then you will know to call on me.