It’s been quite a long time since I have had the luxury of sitting in my study with nothing to occupy my time. Ever since the Kandy Kingdom declared open war upon the Best Forgotten Island, I have been ceaselessly working to try to once more unite the factions and bring peace to Tin Town.
Yet now that I have a few hours to spare I seem to be quite unable to sleep or do anything productive. I find my attention is drawn to my axes sitting on the desk. They have been my constant companions throughout this war, and even after all these years they still gleam, fierce and sharp as ever.
I think back to when I was a child and my father, Thomas Lincoln, gave me these axes so that I could get to work chopping down the dead tree in the yard. Being an adventurous and rather careless lad, I never did get to chopping down that tree. However, when the family cabin was attacked by roving bands of Bubblegum Bears, my natural affinity for axe combat saved the day. Those axes have been with me ever since, and hardly do they ever leave my side.
Now my thoughts turn to that of my father and mother, living in the log cabin of my youth. They always wanted the best for me, and though they were not wealthy they were hard-working and respected in their community. Every time I hurl one of my trusty axes at a marshmallow bunny’s head, I do so in their memory. God rest their souls.